July 8, 2013

The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time

So after sampling so many varieties of instant noodles over the years, of course there have been some that I didn’t like. There also were some that are so memorable for how awful they were. After people asked what my least favorites were a few times, I thought I should just make a list of them. I should point out that these are on the list because I couldn’t stand them. I’m pretty sure they are all still in production, and the only reason they would be is that people somewhere find them enjoyable. So who knows – you might have a completely different opinion on these than me, but I found them to be absolutely the worst of the worst. With that, here’s The Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time, 2013 Edition.

#10: Wei Lih Instant Noodles With Artificial Beef Flavored Soup Stock – Taiwan

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I’ve had issues with broth being too salty before, but the lack of flavor in this one wasn’t tolerable. The flavor had a very ‘fake beef’ taste to it which was not at all enjoyable. Original post here

#9: GreeNoodle Miso Made With Moroheiya – Thailand

The noodles had a flavor I found to be akin to dirt – very strange. In the original review, I comment that the broth was ‘nightmarish.’ Original review here

#8: Fashion Food Oriental Flavor Instant Noodles – Thailand

These noodles came in a nice little plastic bowl with lid, As cool as that is, it didn’t make up for some seriously funky noodles and vile broth and veggies. Original review here

#7: Baijia Hot & Sour Flavor Instant Rice Noodle – China

The broth was of a deep crimson color. While interesting to look at, the slimy noodles and overly greasy broth with odd bits floating around were a turn-off trifecta. I couldn’t finish this bowl. Original review here

#6: Noodle Time Spicy Thai Instant Ramen Noodles With Real Vegetables – Canada

A prime example of noodle I dislike: watery broth, exceedingly mushy and spongy noodles and veggies that were lackluster and of the most minimal quantity and quality. Original review here

#5: Nan Hsing Vegetarian Rice Noodles – Taiwan

The noodles were akin to cobwebs – not the ones spiders make, but the fake ones you get for Halloween. The veggies didn’t hydrate well at all, and the broth wasn’t much. Couldn’t eat it. Original review here

#4: Paldo Green Tea Chlorella Noodles – South Korea

While this company makes some noodles I really enjoy, they also make this one which I deplore. It’s just got such a funky flavor to it and a smell I can’t take. Original review here

#3: Fu Chang Chinese Noodle Company Pork, Seafood & Noodles Combo – United States

The noodles in this one were really mushy, and while it had a retort pouch with meat and seafood, it was really nasty. Original review here

#2: Baijia Instant Sweet Potato Noodle Spicy Fei-Chang Flavor – China

A strong ‘dirt and urine’ scent accompanied by slimy sweet potato noodles. As it turns out, Fei Chang relates to fried pork intestines. Original review here

#1: Baijia Single Noble Black Bone Chicken Flavor Instant Sweet Potato Noodles – China

Here is my least favorite variety of all. Slimy sweet potato noodles, thick, greasy broth and horrid veggies that didn’t hydrate well. Original review here

Products cooked according to package instructions. Product reviews done prior to adding any additional ingredients.

25 thoughts on “The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time

      1. J.V.

        Just saw it live on the “2400 CTI Tomorrow News” for July 10th, if that helps. Don’t have a link at the moment, theymwere definately talking about the Taiwanese entries on this list, mentioning the “fake beef flavor” and “cobweb noodles.”

        Reply
    1. Hans "The Ramen Rater" Lienesch Post author

      Here in the United States, everything that is a noodle with seasoning packet is referred to as “instant.” I’m sure it’s confusing to the rest of the world, but it’s the way we say it.

      – TRR

      在这里,在美国,所有的调料包中的面条被称为“即时”。我敢肯定,它的混乱世界的其余部分,但它是我们说的方式。

      – TRR

      Reply
  1. ND

    Dude, please… white american talking smacking about Taiwanese instant noodle. Frog in the well…
    Learn the culture to understand the flavors. How come american always degrade things they don’t know wtf their talking about? go rate a bag of lay’s and a bottle of bud.
    Something lower than your site, the Chinese media. ran out of news they have to put this trash up as an article. pathetic…

    Reply
    1. ND

      that’s embarassing, it’s supposed to be “talking smack” somehow ended up to be “smacking” instead…

      Reply
    2. Hans "The Ramen Rater" Lienesch Post author

      I dunno man I know a bit about noodles. More importantly, I know what I like and what I dislike. As for being a ‘white American,’ you’ve got me there, but unlike most, I’m all about trying new things and exploring my palate. It’s not like I’m picking on Taiwan or something; I just found those two to be really nasty. Does that mean that nobody should eat them? Of course not! I think you guys are really thin-skinned about the noodle thing. Complaining about not being on the top ten, complaining about being on the bottom ten… Then when A-Sha, Amianda and Deshome had 5 star varieties, the media decided that was the same as being in the top ten which it is not. Calm down, enjoy some noodles and enjoy rather than get so worked up about it. Honestly, I think it to be pretty bizarre.

      – TRR

      Reply
      1. Chehui Chou

        Some Taiwanese people just dislike something they like being criticized by other people, while they definitely welcome those things being acclaimed by the others. Weird.

        Reply
      2. j

        you think his reaction was bizarre but you run a instant noodle rating website??

        as for the low ratings, i won’t agree or disagree

        However, i think if you’re serious about this website, you should eat the actual noodles to see why they taste the way they do.

        You said the #5 noodles were like cobwebs.. that’s just an ignorant reaction to someone that doesn’t eat rice (stick) noodles.

        then #2 was “slimy”, sure…… because that’s how glass noodles are supposed to be!

        You should really, at minimum, to visit a restaurant that has similar real versions of the noodle. Try glass noodles, hand pulled , thick, thin, slimy, wheat, rice, and see how difficult it is to turn one of those classic noodle dishes into a instant noodle cup. Otherwise you’ll just continue to be the running joke online (which is how i found your website)

        Don’t get offended by this post, it said it to help (if you’re serious that is).

        Reply
        1. Hans "The Ramen Rater" Lienesch Post author

          Not offended, but still I find it funny that people can’t handle that my opinion differs from their. Those particulars stood out to my palate as below subpar, and I stand by my taste buds on that. As I’ve stated before, I think that if absolutely no one liked these varieties, the companies wouldn’t make them. I personally find them to be vile and disgusting. I also don’t review restaurant noodles; I review noodles in packs, cups bowls and trays etc that are quick to prepare.
          – TRR

          Reply
  2. Dave

    Hans, while I appreciate the fact that your ratings are purely subjective based on your palate and personal preferences, can you understand how some view your reviews as being disingenuous? It’s especially a problem for some because of the apparent publicity you site is getting.

    As your palate is quite limited when in comes to appreciating the different flavors and textures of noodles (how else to interpret your proclamations of “vile and disgusting”?), it is hard to take you seriously when you proclaim “All Time Top 10 or Bottom 10” as if it were the definitive word on the subject.

    Your reviews are similar to having someone raised on and preferring “Boones Farm Strawberry Hill” wine critiquing the world’s array of fine wines. Yes, his review would also be just a personal opinion, but alas, an opinion that is not very informed and thus easily dismissed.

    Reply
    1. Hans "The Ramen Rater" Lienesch Post author

      I guess some people can’t be pleased. I would think that sampling well over a thousand different varieties of instant noodles would make me an authority, but again, I guess experience isn’t worth a lot when you can just be summarily dismissed via a keyboard. My answer to you and those who complain about what I do is this: start your own instant noodle review site. It’s a lot of work and I doubt you’re up for it. Besides, all in all, most of the emails I receive are positive and people seem to really enjoy my reviews. I’ve turned a lot of people on to some great varieties and I stick by my opinions.

      – TRR

      Reply

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