It’s that time again – time to run down the worst varieties I’ve ever had. That’s no small task either – this list is current as of review #3180. These are the ten worst ones, in my opinion, leaving a lasting negative impression on my taste buds. With that, I again give you what you want.

The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2019 Edition

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The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2019 Edition

#10 – Master Kong Artificial Abalone Crab Flavor Instant Noodle – China

Definitely a knock-off of sorts. Although I see these as Master Kong/Kang Shi Fu often, they most definitely aren’t. Moreover, the broth has an absolutely foul taste to it. I’m sure it’s safe to eat, but I would never want to cross paths with this one again. Original review

#9 – Koyo Reduced Sodium Garlic & Pepper Ramen – United States

The noodles are thick – more like ramyun. They have an alright chew; although they seem almost doughy- and not Hakata style ramen noodle doughy. The broth does taste of garlic and pepper, but it’s so very bland. It really is like you could boil some pepper and a clove of garlic and achieve the same results. Not at all to my liking. Original review

#8 – Urban Noodle Authentic Street Food Black Bean – United Kingdom

The noodles in this one were flat instead of round. They came out very nicely. The flavoring however was just strange. I expected maybe something of a Korean-Chinese fusion dish, but those are hearty and rich and not savory and sweet. In fact, this one was a little too sweet for me. The thinly sliced bamboo shoots don’t work for me either; leaving them whole would be nicer I think. What’s more, it has a kind of chemically aftertaste; like chlorine or soap. Original review

#7 – One Dish Asia Japanese Ramen Noodle – United States

This one comes with a fresh noodle pouch. They didn’t have a very fresh texture; more mushy. The bamboo shoots (which more resembled overcooked carrot and I had to consult the ingredients to figure what they were) were mushy as well. The broth had an acidic and a flavor reminiscent of the teriyaki flavor I’ve encountered in bad teriyaki instant flavors. A hot mess. Original review

#6 – Acecook Super Cup Pringles Sour Cream & Onion Yakisoba – Japan

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2019 Edition

I love yakisoba and Japan offers many different versions. This one however gets no love from me. This viral monstrosity might be neat to look at but for me it stopped there. Imagine taking a butter knife and scraping off the powder from every chips in a tube of sour cream and onion chips. Then sprinkle over noodles. Just gross – I think these two products should never come together. Original review

#5 – Isoyama Shoji 18 Prohibited / Restricted / Only La-Men Curry Taste – Japan

First, this is a lot of food. There’s reason for the warning on this pack. 700cc water and a few minutes cooking brings you a huge bowl of noodles. While in general that’s not a complaint, the flavor is. It’s violently spicy for starters. It does have a curry flavor, which at first glance is great. Then you have to taste it. You’d think all that water would dilute the sachet that comes with it but no dice here. Too much flavor and heat are the theme here, and it’s a bitter song to swallow. Original review

#4 – Baijia Single Noble Black Bone Chicken Flavor Instant Sweet Potato Noodles – China

I was told by a guy from the company that this indeed was believed to be medicinal and helpful to women having their ‘time of the month.’ I’ve also been told by a reader that people generally don’t like black bone chicken soup even in China. Very slimy sweet potato noodles, thick, greasy broth and horrid veggies that didn’t hydrate well was just a flavor, texture, and complete food hole nightmare for me. This was just horrible stuff that I couldn’t stand. Original review

#3 – Maruchan Bariuma Goboten Udon – Japan

Do you like earthy things? Like dirt? Maybe throw a ton of salt on it – does that do the trick for you? This one has just huge amount of burdock root. Burdock is great in small amounts, but this much just turns this variety into a bowl of something that just screams salty dirt. A full frontal assault on the taste buds that leaves me wondering if when they made this if they tasted it. Original review

#2 – Dr. McDougall’s Vegan Pad Thai Noodle Soup – United States

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2019 Edition

Where do I begin. Well first off, when one in the United States thinks of Pad Thai, they think of what they might find at a Thai restaurant. Okay so the rice noodles came out nicely – short, flat and broad and well hydrated, but they’re short and cut like egg noodles.. Now for the broth. Thin. Nothing like pad thai. Has a little lime flavor and a kind of herbal taste. The floating bits of tofu are a lot like the marshmallows you get in the hot chocolate that comes with marshmallows. This is as far from pad thai as I can even express in words. It’s like someone gave a broken description of pad thai to someone who has short term memory problems and no taste buds a week prior and told them to make it. I kind of feel personally violated and offended. Never thought this would slip to 2nd on this list.. Original review

#1 – Simply Asia Singapore Street Noodles Classic Curry – United States

A nice looking package with the enticing words of ‘classic curry’ brings an image of something really special. This isn’t the case though. Rice noodles come out very mushy, but curry with sligtly soggy noodles wouldn’t be so bad if it tasted like curry. Basically the flavor is a lot of lemongrass and strongly lacks authenticity. It’s like if you went to a restaurant, ordered some french fries, and they brought you a soda that said french fries on it. Just wrong on so many levels. Offensive in the highest. Original review