June 25, 2017

The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

So today it’s the fifth annual The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time. On my other lists, I exclude varieties that no longer are on the market. On this list, everything’s fair game for the bottom ten. As I say in the video presentation, if you like some of these, there’s nothing wrong with you – I just find these detestable personally. These are my least favorite varieties of the over 2400 varieties posted to date. Without gurther ado, the bottom ten.

The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The full list video!

#10: Roland Ramen Japanese Style Quick-Cooking Alimentary Paste With Chicken Artificially Flavored Soup Base – United States

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

Honestly, I expected this to be a kind of ‘run-of-the-mill’ variety. I review based on the base product as well as the provided cooking directions. Well, they call for 3 cups of water and they’re violently bland. In the nutrition facts, they mention that this pack contains 3 servings! I’m guessing this is so they can say the sodium level is low? I’m unsure. What I’m sure of is that I really disliked these. Original review

#9 – Sichuan Guangyou Sweet Potato Instant Noodle Braised Spicy Chitterling Flavor – China

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The sweet potato thread was alright, but very gloppy. The flavor was kind of brutal; indeed, too strong for me. I think the soup direction might have been better. What’s more, the powder sachet contents didn’t work well as the peas didn’t hydrate whatsoever. Original review

#8 – Maruchan Spicy Tomato Salsa Ramen – Japan

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles hydrated very nicely and have a standard flatness and thin character. The flavor was unfortunately something of a departure. It was a kind of spicy and putrid tomato melange – like homemade salsa left out overnight from binge drinking with a crew of chainsmokers – which just tastes like pure trainwreck. The bits of potato were interesting and hydrated well enough though – kind of liked that they had potato skins on. But yeah – this was just a fusion that should come undone. Original review

#7: Vedan Wei Wei A Instant Noodles Chicken Flavor – Taiwan

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles were very ho-hum. While they hydrated well, they seemed like they just didn’t belong in the ‘food’ group; spongy and riddled with sadness. As for chicken flavor, that was definitely absent. I was really happy about the vegetables, but they were mushy. Original review

#6 – Master Kong Artificial Abalone Crab Flavor Instant Noodle – China

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles were alright – plentiful too. Nothing to write home about. What is to write home about is the flavor. Write a warning letter home! I mean this was just plain funky; seemed initially like a crab stick kind of scent and essence but it just turned into this not food kind of taste that I just couldn’t stomach whatsoever. Couldn’t pour this down the drain fast enough. Original review

#5 – Koyo Reduced Sodium Garlic & Pepper Ramen – United States

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles are thick – more like ramyun. They have an alright chew; although they seem almost doughy- and not Hakata style ramen noodle doughy. The broth does taste of garlic and pepper, but it’s so very bland. It really is like you could boil some pepper and a clove of garlic and achieve the same results. Not at all to my liking. Original review

#4 – Urban Noodle Authentic Street Food Black Bean – United Kingdom

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles in this one were flat instead of round. They came out very nicely. The flavoring however was just strange. I expected maybe something of a Korean-Chinese fusion dish, but those are hearty and rich and not savory and sweet. In fact, this one was a little too sweet for me. The thinly sliced bamboo shoots don’t work for me either; leaving them whole would be nicer I think. What’s more, it has a kind of chemically aftertaste; like chlorine or soap. Original review

#3 – One Dish Asia Japanese Ramen Noodle – United States

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

This one comes with a fresh noodle pouch. They didn’t have a very fresh texture; more mushy. The bamboo shoots (which more resembled overcooked carrot and I had to consult the ingredients to figure what they were) were mushy as well. The broth had an acidic and a flavor reminiscent of the teriyaki flavor I’ve encountered in bad teriyaki instant flavors. A hot mess. Original review here

#2 – Baijia Single Noble Black Bone Chicken Flavor Instant Sweet Potato Noodles – China

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

I was told by a guy from the company that this indeed was believed to be medicinal and helpful to women having their ‘time of the month.’ I’m also been told by a reader that people generally don’t like black bone chicken soup even in China. Very slimy sweet potato noodles, thick, greasy broth and horrid veggies that didn’t hydrate well was just a flavor, texture, and complete food hole nightmare for me. This was just horrible stuff that I couldn’t stand. Original review

#1 – Dr. McDougall’s Vegan Pad Thai Noodle Soup – United States

Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

Wow – where do it begin. Well, first off when one in the United States thinks of Pad Thai, they think of what they might find at a domestic Thai restaurant. Okay so the rice noodles came out nicely – short, flat and broad and well hydrated. Now for the broth. Thin. Nothing like pad thai. Has a little lime taste and a kind of herbed taste. The floating bits of tofu are a lot like the marshmallows you get in the hot chocolate that comes with marshmallows. This is as far from pad thai as I can even express in words. It’s like someone gave a broken description of pad thai to someone who has short term memory problems and no taste buds a week prior and told them to make it. I kind of feel personally violated and offended. A new #1 on the Bottom Ten. Original review

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