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The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

So today it’s the fifth annual The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time. On my other lists, I exclude varieties that no longer are on the market. On this list, everything’s fair game for the bottom ten. As I say in the video presentation, if you like some of these, there’s nothing wrong with you – I just find these detestable personally. These are my least favorite varieties of the over 2400 varieties posted to date. Without gurther ado, the bottom ten.

The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The full list video!

#10: Roland Ramen Japanese Style Quick-Cooking Alimentary Paste With Chicken Artificially Flavored Soup Base – United States

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

Honestly, I expected this to be a kind of ‘run-of-the-mill’ variety. I review based on the base product as well as the provided cooking directions. Well, they call for 3 cups of water and they’re violently bland. In the nutrition facts, they mention that this pack contains 3 servings! I’m guessing this is so they can say the sodium level is low? I’m unsure. What I’m sure of is that I really disliked these. Original review

#9 – Sichuan Guangyou Sweet Potato Instant Noodle Braised Spicy Chitterling Flavor – China

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The sweet potato thread was alright, but very gloppy. The flavor was kind of brutal; indeed, too strong for me. I think the soup direction might have been better. What’s more, the powder sachet contents didn’t work well as the peas didn’t hydrate whatsoever. Original review

#8 – Maruchan Spicy Tomato Salsa Ramen – Japan

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles hydrated very nicely and have a standard flatness and thin character. The flavor was unfortunately something of a departure. It was a kind of spicy and putrid tomato melange – like homemade salsa left out overnight from binge drinking with a crew of chainsmokers – which just tastes like pure trainwreck. The bits of potato were interesting and hydrated well enough though – kind of liked that they had potato skins on. But yeah – this was just a fusion that should come undone. Original review

#7: Vedan Wei Wei A Instant Noodles Chicken Flavor – Taiwan

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles were very ho-hum. While they hydrated well, they seemed like they just didn’t belong in the ‘food’ group; spongy and riddled with sadness. As for chicken flavor, that was definitely absent. I was really happy about the vegetables, but they were mushy. Original review

#6 – Master Kong Artificial Abalone Crab Flavor Instant Noodle – China

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles were alright – plentiful too. Nothing to write home about. What is to write home about is the flavor. Write a warning letter home! I mean this was just plain funky; seemed initially like a crab stick kind of scent and essence but it just turned into this not food kind of taste that I just couldn’t stomach whatsoever. Couldn’t pour this down the drain fast enough. Original review

#5 – Koyo Reduced Sodium Garlic & Pepper Ramen – United States

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles are thick – more like ramyun. They have an alright chew; although they seem almost doughy- and not Hakata style ramen noodle doughy. The broth does taste of garlic and pepper, but it’s so very bland. It really is like you could boil some pepper and a clove of garlic and achieve the same results. Not at all to my liking. Original review

#4 – Urban Noodle Authentic Street Food Black Bean – United Kingdom

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

The noodles in this one were flat instead of round. They came out very nicely. The flavoring however was just strange. I expected maybe something of a Korean-Chinese fusion dish, but those are hearty and rich and not savory and sweet. In fact, this one was a little too sweet for me. The thinly sliced bamboo shoots don’t work for me either; leaving them whole would be nicer I think. What’s more, it has a kind of chemically aftertaste; like chlorine or soap. Original review

#3 – One Dish Asia Japanese Ramen Noodle – United States

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

This one comes with a fresh noodle pouch. They didn’t have a very fresh texture; more mushy. The bamboo shoots (which more resembled overcooked carrot and I had to consult the ingredients to figure what they were) were mushy as well. The broth had an acidic and a flavor reminiscent of the teriyaki flavor I’ve encountered in bad teriyaki instant flavors. A hot mess. Original review here

#2 – Baijia Single Noble Black Bone Chicken Flavor Instant Sweet Potato Noodles – China

The Ramen Rater's Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

I was told by a guy from the company that this indeed was believed to be medicinal and helpful to women having their ‘time of the month.’ I’m also been told by a reader that people generally don’t like black bone chicken soup even in China. Very slimy sweet potato noodles, thick, greasy broth and horrid veggies that didn’t hydrate well was just a flavor, texture, and complete food hole nightmare for me. This was just horrible stuff that I couldn’t stand. Original review

#1 – Dr. McDougall’s Vegan Pad Thai Noodle Soup – United States

Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2017 Edition

Wow – where do it begin. Well, first off when one in the United States thinks of Pad Thai, they think of what they might find at a domestic Thai restaurant. Okay so the rice noodles came out nicely – short, flat and broad and well hydrated. Now for the broth. Thin. Nothing like pad thai. Has a little lime taste and a kind of herbed taste. The floating bits of tofu are a lot like the marshmallows you get in the hot chocolate that comes with marshmallows. This is as far from pad thai as I can even express in words. It’s like someone gave a broken description of pad thai to someone who has short term memory problems and no taste buds a week prior and told them to make it. I kind of feel personally violated and offended. A new #1 on the Bottom Ten. Original review

#2208: Roland Ramen Japanese Style Quick-Cooking Alimentary Paste With Chicken Artificially Flavored Soup Base

A big thanks to Colin for finding and sending me this one! Okay, so I have been trying to get this one for a while; anything by Roland honestly. I called them, emailed them, and always got the same reply – ‘we don’t send sample.’ I really love it when companies have such a rigid policy against basically what amounts to free advertising. This one is made in Singapore for Roland company here in the USA, and I have a feeling it’s a private label by Tat Hui/KOKA – all boils down to one aspect which is a giveaway. Let’s check this one out and I’ll show you what that is.

Here’s the back of the package (click to enlarge). Looks to be meat free but check for yourself. To prepare, add noodle block and soup base sachet to 3 cups water and cook for 3 minutes. Stir and enjoy! NOTE – while I will be using the mentioned 3 cups of water on this one, I think the only reason 3 cups are mentioned is directly related to the nutrition facts – note it says this pack is 3 servings. I think 3 cups is going to make this exceedingly bland, but we’ll see.

The noodle block.

The soup base sachet.

A light powder.

Finished (click to enlarge). The noodles came out decently; nothing fancy, but a decent instant noodle. The broth however was definitely bland. This is almost completely due to the called for 3 cups of water. I’m sure 400ml would have done just fine for this one. Not only that, I kind of get the feeling that even with that lesser amount of water it still would have been leaning toward the bland side. 0.25 out of 5.0 stars. UPC bar code 041224722002.

Roland Ramen, Chicken, 3 Ounce (Pack of 90)

Something completely unrelated.

#2103: Roland Ramen Japanese Style Quick-Cooking Alimentary Paste With Beef Artificially Flavored Soup Base

A big thanks to Colin for finding and sending me this one! Okay, so I have been trying to get this one for a while; anything by Roland honestly. I called them, emailed them, and always got the same reply – ‘we don’t send sample.’ I really love it when companies have such a rigid policy against basically what amounts to free advertising. This one is made in Singapore for Roland company here in the USA, and I have a feeling it’s a private label by Tat Hui/KOKA – all boils down to one aspect which is a giveaway. Let’s check this one out and I’ll show you what that is.

Here’s the back of the package (click to enlarge). Looks to be meat free but check for yourself. To prepare, add noodle block and soup base sachet to 3 cups water and cook for 3 minutes. Stir and enjoy! NOTE – while I will be using the mentioned 3 cups of water on this one, I think the only reason 3 cups are mentioned is directly related to the nutrition facts – note it says this pack is 3 servings. I think 3 cups is going to make this exceedingly bland, but we’ll see.

The noodle block.

The soup base sachet. Compare to this one from KOKA.

The soup base powder.

Finished (click to enlarge). The noodles were mediocre; nothing really special about them. They’re not really sub-par or anything, they’re just uninteresting, with a lackluster chew. The broth requires me to write a story in order to convey my thoughts upon it. Two gentlemen were sitting in a bar talking about various subjects and food came up. One man asked the other ‘beef broth is something I like very much – you like beef broth don’t you?’ The other man shrugged. ‘I did when I was younger; before the accident.’ ‘Accident?’ ‘Yes,’ the man explained, ‘my tongue was severed twenty years ago in a freak tennis accident. I’ve tasted nothing since.’ Well folks, that’s what this tasted like; the memory of beef. It was so bland and watery it just ended up offending me. As I said earlier, 3 cups of water is a ridiculous amount for this pack. For an instant I was in search of for so long, I’m saddened it ended up being like this. 0.0 out of 5.0 stars.  UPC bar code 041224722101.

Roland Ramen, Beef, 3 Ounce (Pack of 90)

This isn’t directly related to this product, but it’s people taking a whole sachet of beef instant noodle seasoning in one straight gulp! Pretty crazy – I’m not doing it but it’s fun to watch!