The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2014 Edition

Another year, another list. With a range of zero to five stars, there are some that, well… Do quite poorly. These are my least favorite varieties I’ve ever tried – and I’ve 1,419 at the time of this posting. That’s a lot of instant noodles. Here they are, in all of their non-glory, the Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2014 Edition.

#10: Tesco    Everyday Value Chicken & Mushroom Flavour – United Kingdom

Where do I begin. Imagine oatmeal. Now, don’t imagine maple or cinnamon or anything resembling flavor. This was truly one of the blandest instant noodles I’ve ever experienced; when your instant noodles beg for some salt, something’s amiss. Original review here

#9: Mr. Noodles Chicken Kimchi Oriental Style Noodles With Soup Base – Canada

This was one where the name is truly misleading. First, the noodles are crumbly, then the broth has this strange flavor. It’s vaguely like chicken and somewhat like kimchi – but really not. I don’t know what they were thinking, or if they were thinking when they concocted this. Original review here

#8: Noodle Time Spicy Thai Instant Ramen Noodles With Real Vegetables – Canada

A prime example of noodle I dislike: watery broth, exceedingly mushy and spongy noodles and veggies that were lackluster and of the most minimal quantity and quality. Original review here

#7: Nan Jie Cun Hot-Dry Instant Noodles Chilli Flavour – China

I had such high hopes for this one. These noodles are made in the last true Communist city in China. There’s no money! You work, you go to the store and get what you need, you go home. Fascinating. These were just plain gross; I dunno – maybe I just don’t like monotone flavors. The ingredients were good, just all came together as a pile of yuck. Original preview here

#6: Nan Hsing Vegetarian Rice Noodles – Taiwan

The noodles were akin to cobwebs – not the ones spiders make, but the fake ones you get for Halloween. The veggies didn’t hydrate well at all, and the broth wasn’t much. Couldn’t eat it. Original review here

#5: Paldo Green Tea Chlorella Noodles – South Korea

While this company makes some noodles I really enjoy, they also make this one which I deplore. It’s just got such a funky flavor to it and a smell I can’t take. Original review here

#4: Fu Chang Chinese Noodle Company Pork, Seafood & Noodles Combo – United States

The noodles in this one were really mushy, and while it had a retort pouch with meat and seafood, it was really nasty. Original review here

#3: Campbell’s Hearty Noodles Thai Flavour – Canada

I really expected this one to be pretty good – I like their soups. The noodles are downright thick and chewy – in a bad way. The broth had a lemongrass coconut scent, but the flavor was all wrong. This was one that made me think the designers got partway through making it and then saw a shiny object and decided to examine that instead. Original review here

#2: Baijia Instant Sweet Potato Noodle Spicy Fei-Chang Flavor – China

A strong ‘dirt and urine’ scent accompanied by slimy sweet potato noodles. As it turns out, Fei Chang relates to fried pork intestines. Original review here

#1: Baijia Single Noble Black Bone Chicken Flavor Instant Sweet Potato Noodles – China

Here is my least favorite variety of all. Slimy sweet potato noodles, thick, greasy broth and horrid veggies that didn’t hydrate well. Original review here

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