Well, it’s that time again! Every year, I come out with an update to my Bottom Ten list. I’ve got a lot of top ten lists of course, but only one that’s comprised of my least favorite varieties. Many of these will be enjoyed by people – and that’s fine. Just most definitely not by me. Let’s take a look!

The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2018 Edition

Video Presentation

A video presentation of the list in its entirety.

The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2018 Edition

#10 – Mr. Noodles Pho Noodle Soup Simulated Beef Flavour – Canada

A rough go. The noodles were just wrong; they might look like noodles, but they just didn’t hydrate very well and the chew was pure funky. The broth was about as bland as can be – maybe less water? Everything I review is according to what they put on the packaging and well, this just came out horribly. Original review

#9 – Vedan Wei Wei A Instant Noodles Chicken Flavor – Taiwan

I’m a little confused by this one. Honestly, I believe the instructions on this bowl must be wrong and that it should be a dry noodle with a broth on the side. But it just goes to show that unless you put the correct directions on the bowl, you’re going to end up with something awry. TRhe other possibility is that the instructions are correct and that it’s still just completely horrible. Chicken flavor? I don’t think so. Noodles? Ultra spongy. No. Original review

#8 – Master Kong Artificial Abalone Crab Flavor Instant Noodle – China

Definitely a knock-off of sorts. Although I see these as Master Kong/Kang Shi Fu often, they most definitely aren’t. Moreover, the broth has an absolutely foul taste to it. I’m sure it’s safe to eat, but I would never want to cross paths with this one again. Original review

#7 – Koyo Reduced Sodium Garlic & Pepper Ramen – United States

The noodles are thick – more like ramyun. They have an alright chew; although they seem almost doughy- and not Hakata style ramen noodle doughy. The broth does taste of garlic and pepper, but it’s so very bland. It really is like you could boil some pepper and a clove of garlic and achieve the same results. Not at all to my liking. Original review

#6 – Urban Noodle Authentic Street Food Black Bean – United Kingdom

The noodles in this one were flat instead of round. They came out very nicely. The flavoring however was just strange. I expected maybe something of a Korean-Chinese fusion dish, but those are hearty and rich and not savory and sweet. In fact, this one was a little too sweet for me. The thinly sliced bamboo shoots don’t work for me either; leaving them whole would be nicer I think. What’s more, it has a kind of chemically aftertaste; like chlorine or soap. Original review

#3 – One Dish Asia Japanese Ramen Noodle – United States

This one comes with a fresh noodle pouch. They didn’t have a very fresh texture; more mushy. The bamboo shoots (which more resembled overcooked carrot and I had to consult the ingredients to figure what they were) were mushy as well. The broth had an acidic and a flavor reminiscent of the teriyaki flavor I’ve encountered in bad teriyaki instant flavors. A hot mess. Original review

#4 – Isoyama Shoji 18 Prohibited / Restricted / Only La-Men Curry Taste – Japan

First, this is a lot of food. There’s reason for the warning on this pack. 700cc water and a few minutes cooking brings you a huge bowl of noodles. While in general that’s not a complaint, the flavor is. It’s violently spicy for starters. It does have a curry flavor, which at first glance is great. Then you have to taste it. You’d think all that water would dilute the sachet that comes with it but no dice here. Too much flavor and heat are the theme here, and it’s a bitter song to swallow. Original review

#3 – Baijia Single Noble Black Bone Chicken Flavor Instant Sweet Potato Noodles – China

I was told by a guy from the company that this indeed was believed to be medicinal and helpful to women having their ‘time of the month.’ I’ve also been told by a reader that people generally don’t like black bone chicken soup even in China. Very slimy sweet potato noodles, thick, greasy broth and horrid veggies that didn’t hydrate well was just a flavor, texture, and complete food hole nightmare for me. This was just horrible stuff that I couldn’t stand. Original review

#2 – Maruchan Bariuma Goboten Udon – Japan

Do you like earthy things? Like dirt? Maybe throw a ton of salt on it – does that do the trick for you? This one has just huge amount of burdock root. Burdock is great in small amounts, but this much just turns this variety into a bowl of something that just screams salty dirt. A full frontal assault on the taste buds that leaves me wondering if when they made this if they tasted it. Original review

#1 – Dr. McDougall’s Vegan Pad Thai Noodle Soup – United States

Wow – where do it begin. Well, first off when one in the United States thinks of Pad Thai, they think of what they might find at a domestic Thai restaurant. Okay so the rice noodles came out nicely – short, flat and broad and well hydrated. Now for the broth. Thin. Nothing like pad thai. Has a little lime taste and a kind of herbed taste. The floating bits of tofu are a lot like the marshmallows you get in the hot chocolate that comes with marshmallows. This is as far from pad thai as I can even express in words. It’s like someone gave a broken description of pad thai to someone who has short term memory problems and no taste buds a week prior and told them to make it. I kind of feel personally violated and offended. A new #1 on the Bottom Ten. Original review